Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconvanity-808: More from Vanity-808


Featured in Collections

hetalia by shaddowwarrior

EnglandxReader by Kisara519

Hetalia by deathnote10


More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
January 17, 2013
File Size
13.7 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,436 (1 today)
Favourites
56 (who?)
Comments
27
×


Chapter 3

_______________'s (e/c) eyes slowly opened to the sound of her phone ringing. Getting up, she made her way to where her phone was charging and checked the caller I.D.

Francis Bonnefoy

Thinking that it was urgent, she pressed the answer button. "Hello Francis?"

"Allo mon cherie~ Did you sleep well?" The Frenchman asked on the other side of the phone. "I did, thanks. Is there something wrong? You don't normally call me unless it's urgent." She rubbed her eyes to remove the morning dust. It was the third time that he called her. The first was for her acceptance on the audition, the second one was for her first meeting with the other singers and members, now… "Ah, yes. _______________ can you come to the bar right now? We're going to have a meeting." He stated making her confused. "A meeting?"

"Oui~ It's a… Something very important to discuss among us." A feeling shivered up and down her spine when she heard Francis's statement but shook it off. "Sure. I'll just get ready." The Frenchman's voice brightened up. "Merci mon cher~ Alfred will be there to pick you up. Toni's calling him right now." _______________ gave out a slight giggle. The trio is really fast at spreading an announcement.

"Oh, I've heard from Kiku that you went home along with Alfred and Arthur last night." The (h/c) haired girl's face turned bright red remembering the incident. "Y-Yeah… It was… Disturbing… Is Arthur really like that?" The sound of the phone being taken away from Francis was heard. "Chica, are you alright?! Did you get hurt?! What happened last night?!" Antonio continued to bombard _______________ with questions.

She smiled. "I'm alright Toni. Nothing happened. He just talked some weird stuff again." She defended hearing a sigh of relief on the other side of the phone. "You can always tell us something okay chica? If someone hurts you leave it to us, the Bad Touch Trio." The Spaniard assured. It was really comforting to know that there were people who were willing to do this for her. "Thanks Toni…" She paused looking up in a daze. "Anyway, I'll be getting ready now. Bye."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The whole crew, staff and members looked at the trio with strange looks. "So what are we doing here?" Elizabeta asked from where she sat. "Nothing. We just wanted to see everyone gathered in one room." Gilbert replied, earning a glare from half of the people in the room. "Joking! A talent scout will be coming here next month so we're all here to think of a theme to blow him out of the house!" Everyone suddenly began to talk happy with each other at the topic. "Who's the talent scout?" Lovina asked out of excitement.

"It's Mr. Ivan Braginsky, unfortunately…"

Everyone became silent. The mood they had earlier turned to something that was depressed and obviously, didn't even want to hear the name of the scout. "What's wrong with Mr. Braginsky?" _______________ whispered Kiku who sat next to her. The dark-haired Asian looked at her surprised. "You never heard of him before _______________-chan?" The girl shook her head as a response. "He is famo--."

"Okay, everyone knows that Mr. Braginsky can be really hard to entertain not to mention that the bars who made him displeased closed down and was rumored to be cursed but look on the other side of the coin, all the bars that he visited and approved became famous! If we try hard enough, who knows, maybe we'll own the whole block to ourselves. Besides, I think it would be a perfect time for _______________ to have her debut. After all, she'll be staying with us for a good one month by then. So, anyone have any suggestion for a theme?" The Prussian asked but received no response.

After a few minutes of waiting, no one said anything. "Alright, we'll continue this on the next meeting, which will be tomorrow. We need to have some suggestions fast so we can decide on what we will do. We'll be needing your full cooperation on this, okay?" Everyone gave their silent approval before heading out of the room.

"Kiku!" The girl called out seeing the addressed turn to her. She panted once reaching him, trying to catch a breath. "What is it _______________-chan?" He asked concerned of the singer. "Is Mr. Braginsky really that famous?" _______________ straightened up her posture and took a deep breath. "Yes he is. A bar owned by a Chinese man on the other side of town was shut down after their performance and the building is rumored to be cursed." Kiku told her with a straight face. Knowing him, she nodded her head in understanding. "We should really ace it or we'll lose all of this." He motioned to the whole bar earning a worried face on _______________. It was going to be on her debut also… It was like the whole judgment day depended on her. "Thanks for telling me Kiku, I'll be going to Roderich now." She said with a smile before leaving the area.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A (h/c) haired girl stood in front of a tall building while wrapping her (f/c) colored scarf around her neck. This was the place Alfred told her where Arthur worked. Ever so slowly, she walked inside and headed to the desk where a girl with dark hair and matching eyes sat occupied with a book. "Um, excuse me miss." _______________ started as the girl looked up with a startled expression. "May I help you ma'am?" She asked closing the book and smiled. "Is… Arthur Kirkland in the office right now?" The attendant looked down to a computer screen and scanned the list. "Yes, he is. May I ask for your identification?"

"An acquaintance."

"Please wait for a moment ma'am. You may take a seat on the sofa if you wish." She stated picking up a phone. _______________ sat down on a chair in front of a coffee table and sighed. There was still enough time for her to back out on this attempt though. She could do some slight research back home but… Arthur has been with many women so he must have seen a lot of performances other than hers already. "Miss, Mr. Kirkland is available in his office right now. Just take the elevator up to the 10th floor and turn right until you reach the 5th room to your left." _______________ stood up and smiled at her before walking to the elevator.

As the ride started to go up, so did her level of insecurity. She looked up to see which floor she was in already. 3. Unexpectedly, the ride stopped at the 4th floor where a red-haired man with green eyes entered the elevator. When the doors closed, he suddenly spoke up. "Are you here to visit someone lass?" The man asked with a pure Scottish accent. "Y-Yes, sir." _______________ replied while looking down. "May I ask who it is then?" She fumbled with the belt of her coat before answering. "Arthur Kirkland, sir."

Her elevator-mate laughed. "Are you one of those girls the eyebrows hired?" She flushed red at the question and shook her head. "I-I'm just visiting him, that's all." The Scottish man grinned. "So you slept with him." WHAT IS WITH EVERYONE AND SLEEPING WITH MEN!? Her mind screamed as she shook her head feverously. "I just need his help in something important."

"Money?"

"No! I don't need such things!"

"Are you one of his ex's?"

"I just met him a week ago! I promise!" She silently shouted as the man snickered at her reaction. "So you're single eh?" He moved close to her. Too close for comfort. "Why won't you go out with me then?"

Ting!

_______________ gave out a sigh after walking out of the elevator in a hurry. Finally, it was the 10th floor. She turned to have one last glance at the individual who in return gave a wink. "The name's Allistor Kirkland by the way lass. Pleasure to meet you." And the doors closed.

She knocked at the 5th floor to her left only to find it open. "Hello?" She went in to find another slightly opened door with curtains drawn, illuminated by artificial light and two shadows in the room. _______________ walked towards there to find Arthur by his sofa hovering above something. "Arthur?" She called out earning a shock expression from the British. "_______________?! How did you get in here?!" He asked standing up from the sofa where a girl with wavy blond hair and sapphire eyes sat up. "S-SORRY FOR THE INTRUTION!" She shouted before dashing out of the room, ignoring the call coming from Arthur.

The flushed girl pressed the button on the side of the elevator as fast as possible trying to remove the dirty thoughts that were forming in her mind from the scene she just saw. She turned to her right to find the blond Brit heading towards her. When the doors finally opened, she jumped in practically pressing random numbers just to speed up the closing of the door. "_______________, wai-!"

A sigh escaped her lips as she slid down the side of the elevator, curling herself into a ball. After three floors up, she wearily stood up in time for a tall Russian to enter with a bright smile at her direction. "Privet." He greeted as he pressed a button. "Hello sir." The door closed proceeding to go down to the first floor. There was an awkward silence between them until the bell rang and the door opened to reveal a clear hallway.

However, just when she was about to walk out, the elevator next to them rang open and a totally messed-up Arthur walked out. _______________, out of instinct, hid behind the Russian. "Hey, Ivan, you didn't happen to see any girl with a scarf here, right?" The girl closed her eyes, silently praying that the man would play along with what she was doing. "Nyet. Sorry Arthur." The man released his hold at the door which finally closed after waiting.

"It's all clear now sunflower." He called as she blushed and moved beside him. "Um, thank you very much sir for helping me." She told him looking up to inspect his features. "You're welcome." He replied walking out. "I hope to see you again, da?" The silver-blond Russian stated before the door closed, sending her back to the first floor where she dashed out of the building.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"How did it go?" Alfred asked the moment _______________ entered the bar through the front door. The (h/c) haired girl had a distressed look on her face as she sat on one of the stools. "_______________-chan?" She placed her head down the table causing the two men to become worried. "Alfred… Kiku…" She half-cried, half-whined. "Can you please burn my eyes?"

"What?! Dude what happened when you went there?!"

"Did Arthur-san do something to you?!"

The girl shook her head at their questions. "I saw… I saw something I wasn't supposed to see." She answered as the two communicated through their eyes. "Do you think you can still perform? Being mentally damage requires a lot of rest." Kiku asked. _______________ just nodded. "I still need to practice for next month too… I think I'll be mentally stable after a good sleep… Anyway, I'll be getting ready now…" She stood up from the stool lazily and headed to the back area of the bar.

The three bosses along with the American and Japanese became suspicious of the two. Arthur didn't arrive that night and all that _______________ did after her performance was sit at the counter in a daze, drinking a bottle of wine despite Kiku's protests. "Frau?" Gilbert called as she looked up to him. "I want you to be honest with me, what happened between you and Arthur?" She drank a whole glass before looking back at him. "Hewasmakingoutwithhisassistant." She replied in a slur. "What?"

She slightly slammed the glass. "He was making out with that assistant of his in his office when I walked in. I mean, God, can't they get a room in a hotel or something?" The Prussian sighed and took the bottle away. "That's enough for tonight _______________. It's time to go home." The girl whined. "But Alfred still hasn't performed. Besides, that wine was bought using my salary!" She shouted as she attempted to stand up only to be caught by Antonio.

"Come on now _______________. I'll bring you to your apartment." He insisted carrying the girl by his back. "Toni! Gilbert's being mean!" The Spaniard chuckled at her childish attitude. "He always is. It's his way of showing his love." He replied as they headed out of the bar.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

After successfully placing _______________ to her bed, the brown-haired Spaniard sat down by a chair and grabbed his phone to take advantage of the wi-fi available in the building. He stopped momentarily when _______________'s phone rang her ringtone and stopped after 10 seconds. "Who could be calling her right now?" He asked himself checking the caller I.D. Unknown number. 45 miscalls, 69 messages all coming from the same number. The phone suddenly began to ring again so he decided to answer it.

"_______________! Thank God you finally answered! Look, I'm really sorry for what you saw earlier. Clementine just… It's really hard to explain but… I hope you could forgive me. Please, let me make it up to you."

Antonio was dumbfounded at what he was hearing. "_______________? Are you there?" The Englishman asked on the other side of the phone. "Hello? _______________, can you hear me?" Without thinking, the Spaniard hung up and looked at the phone's screen. If he knew correctly, it was really Arthur's number.

He stood up from his seat before walking out dialing a certain contact in his phone. "Antonio? What's the problem?"

"We need to talk mi amigo… Now."
I'M SO SORRY!!!!! :iconamericasulkplz:


It sucks I know and it was random but I promise to make up on the next chapter. Looks like SMT Fair is on the go and our role as second years are just ushers and guards for an interactive game! Bwahahaha! :iconchahaplz:


Anyway... I MILKED IT!!!! I TOTALLY MADE A CURVE ON A NON-CURVE AREA!!! I PROMISE, I SWEAR, I... CROSS MY HEART(?) THAT I WILL MAKE IT UP!!! Ugh, I'm so depressed... :iconorzplz:

Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya
You belong (for now) to yourself
Song belongs to the rightful owner
The only thing little me owns is the plot

Table of Contents:

Chapter 1 [link]
Chapter 2 [link]
Chapter 3 :dummy:
Chapter 4 [link]
Chapter 5 [link]
Chapter 6 [link]
Chapter 7 (Coming up Next)

~*~

Add a Comment:
 
:iconlulzawesomecakes:
Hello There! I noticed no one was giving you any critiques on here, so I figured I'd try my luck~

*just so you know, I'm basing this on the chapters you've already wrote, so it might not be applicable once you've gotten further along in your story*

I must say I'm impressed at you edicate with this insert, as those who have read my first submission know, I have several pet peeves about certain things about reader inserts, and I can honestly say that I could not find a good example of any of them anywhere.

I am also impressed with the way you portrayed your characters. You miss, have managed to show very unique sides to old characters, while still managing to keep them /in/ character. That in itself is something to congratulate you for. The one thing I enjoyed about your story so far, is the way you presented the reader, which I found to stand out (in a good way) so much when placed against other inserts, it's almost like a signature. I'll give you a list of specific thing's you did well in order to summarize them more clearly:

- The effort while making this story interesting and unique

- The originality of the characters (while not OOC)

- How you showed the personalities of the characters

- The pacing of the story ( the events of the plot are neither rushed or slow)

in short, your a good author, and I can see you becoming an even better one in the future if you continue putting out effort on your writing.

Now, a positive critiques may be nice to get, but it doesn't help the author improve. I'll now list some things I noticed with your writing:

- I found it somewhat hard to enjoy the characters, since I feel that I am only getting a surface look at who they are. (I don't know if you were planning to work on this in later chapters, so this might not apply.) Particularly, the reader. She seems like an interesting person, but personally, I would love it if you can give us a small sample of her past, or what she wants in her life (does she want to get married? have kids? ect.) I think that other readers would find it easier to relate to her and really 'get into' the story if that happened. (I personally believe this would make the impact greater on the reader, since it does seem a bit like the reason she exists is just for the story right now) I feel that this also applies to the other characters, but not quite as much. Again, I'm not sure where your going with this, so this might prove to be inaccurate.

- I found the dialogue slightly hinders the Cannon characters. Just in my own opinion, The actions of the characters excellently show their personalities, but to me they don't seem to talk like they would in the Manga/Anime (it makes them seem a bit OOC, but not severely)

Those are the only things I really think you should take into account as you continue writing your series, based on my analysis, it seems like you are a very good writer, but you need to be a bit more bold and take more risks during the development of the characters your working with. Go for it girl!!! you got this!! keep up the effort!! and I bid you adue~

(Please be kind to me... I did this without much sleep, so i might have been harsher then normal... TT_TT)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
13 out of 14 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:iconcaileychan:
CaileyChan Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
do u have brain bleach or can you please burn my eyes? Llama Emoji-56 (Hiding) [V3] 
loved the story so far!!!
Reply
:iconamazingemily9999:
AmazingEmily9999 Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013
This is so entertaining to read!!! And to top it off, it's hilarious!!! This is an interesting side of Artie that I haven't read much about. Stay cool, dude.
Reply
:iconinsane-angel13:
Insane-Angel13 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I LOVE RUSSIA BEING THE TALENT SCOUT AND THE GUY IN THE ELEVATOR!
HE'S SO SWEET IN THE ELEVATOR!
WHY IS IGGY BEING A $hit!
THIS IS MAKING ME LIKE ANTONIO!

ICANT STOP READING!
EVIL ENCHANTRESS!
youre awsome!
Reply
:iconvanity-808:
Vanity-808 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Student General Artist
Haha~ Thankies ^^
Reply
:iconthefemalebtt:
TheFemaleBTT Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013
I love how the reader is totally innocent while England has had sex how many times? XD
Reply
:iconvanity-808:
Vanity-808 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Student General Artist
Haha thanks xD
My green-mind slightly helped me with it xD
Reply
:icondanyzta:
danyzta Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
Dun dun duuuun!!! awesome! can't wait for the next one!! :3
Reply
:iconvanity-808:
Vanity-808 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you ^^
Reply
:iconlobaluna02:
lobaluna02 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Student Artist
this is getting more interestiing!, loved it again!:iconholyshitohmygodplz:
(lol ivan was like''this seems soo nomal''XD)
(omahgawdarthurwhy!!!U!:iconfrancetantrumplz:):iconowomadplz:
Reply
:iconvanity-808:
Vanity-808 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013  Student General Artist
Oh, France is on a tantrum xD
Reply
Add a Comment: